My Pa

On the weekend we went down south to visit my dad's parents, Nan and Pa. They live right across the road from my favourite beach, probably because I think its our beach. We spent alot of time in the summer at Nan and Pa's. Dad taught me to ride my bike there, Pa and I would go for runs on the beach together. Sometimes our cousins would be there too and we would all hang out together. It has always been a real gathering place. Aunties, Uncles and family friends would visit,  nan would always have some latice slice or lemon cake or baked goodies to welcome with.

Yesterday we wanted to spend some time with my Pa, he has Alzheimer's, yesterday was one of Pa's bad days. He didn't know who I was. That is hard to see. I have all these amazing memories now that only belong to me. He doesn't remember running on the beach with me, or paying me 50cents to pick up the pine needles from his front lawn. He can't remember the stories he would tell me about my dad, like the time dad ran the wrong way in his first ever footy game. He can't remember the time he let me drive on my L's and I nearly crashed into a bus! He can't remember being at my wedding, or rocking my babies to sleep, (Pa could put any baby to sleep.) He doesn't remember the fairy candle holder I gave nan for Christmas, and how he spent hours glueing it back together when it smashed on the floor. He can't remember the cuddles he gave me and the times he said  I.L.Y (I love you).

Usually when I see Pa he has a moment where he will look at me with his sparkly eyes and give me a wink, and smile. Not yesterday, he didn't look at my eyes yesterday. When it was time to leave he stood up and I felt relief that he would finally recognise me even a little, I lent in to kiss him and he turned me and pushed me away. Ageing is cruel, it is hard for Pa, who cannot make sense of anything and even harder for the people left to care for him. My Nan is amazing, although she doesn't know it. She thinks she is failing Pa. She looks after him every day, he has been sick now for 7years and she has cared for him, and loves him even when he isn't the same man she has always known. My nan is strong, patient, kind, loving, selfless, nurturing, and humble. She never complains she only wishes Pa could be better, not so her life would be easier, but so he could be happy again.

It always insipres me to think of amazing women like my nan, who love to love, and never ever give up.

Yesterday my kids and I picked up the pine needles on the lawn. I know Pa would want us to, if he could remember how much those pine needles annoy him!!!