I have been a slack blogger lately, this is about to change. I hope after this entry that I will still have people who want to read my blog!!
I had a crazy dream last night, not unusual for me, I have a lot of crazy dreams. This one involved my best friend and some face slapping, it made me think about a not so proud moment in my life as a mum!
A few years ago, the child who really challenged me was my now gorgeous and although cheeky, pretty much perfect Landon. He is my 3rd child and he is an amazing kid. All my kids are amazing, what can I say!! Landon, is confident, popular, funny, fun, affectionate, and really easy-going. When he was younger he was sometimes in fact a lot of times, pretty naughty. I remember lots of days wanting to pull my hair out over the things he did.
This story is from about 2 and a half years ago, and like I said I'm not at all proud of this. It was a friday afternoon, the end of a long week. We had family from interstate staying with us, (which maybe added to my tension!) Landon had been going through a really rough stage with the twins. The twins were always in his way, according to him. They wrecked his building blocks, they went into his room when he was at school and touched his stuff, they just annoyed him in general, every second of every day! He had been pushing them over a lot and ripping toys off them that were his, or someone elses, and it was just a full on time. The twins were tough work until around the age of 3 when things finally started to settle! This particular afternoon, I was rushing like crazy. Noah had basket ball and I was dressing Sienna, I heard some screaming coming from the toy room, and as I rushed in to inspect what was going on I saw Landon slap Oliver across the face as hard as he could!!! I was horrified, Oliver was screaming, and so without thinking and in anger I flew across the room and slapped Landon across the face!! We were late for basket ball, so I scooped all the kids into the car and started the drive. What chaos, everyone was bawling. I was bawling, Landon was bawling, Oliver was bawling, Sienna was sympathetically bawling. It was nuts. When I finally got a hold of myself I was just saying over and over and over, "Landon I am so sorry, I am a bad bad bad mum" I was a mess. I wondered how I could possibly face the world, or confess to Damion, which I knew I needed to do quick before Landon did!! We arrived at basket ball, Noah hopped out of the car and I just sat in the car park still bawling, and wondering what to do now !
I said "Landon, I am so sorry. You did the wrong thing to Oliver, but what I did was even worse, what can I do to make it up to you?" He had stopped bawling a long time ago, and by now my kids were all just keen to get home again. He thought for a few seconds then said "Um, never make me eat vegetables again!!" I was still crying but now also laughing, and feeling relieved that he was going to forgive me. "I said I can't do that honey, is there anything else I can do?" He thought again and said "Buy me a pack of tic-tacs!!" I said I could definitely do that! When we got home we spent a long time cuddling and me telling him over and over how sorry I was and how much I loved him. I didn't stop kissing him until I was convinced he knew again.
I promised myself that day that I would get some new parenting tactics, and never ever discipline when I was feeling angry again! I am pleased to say I have kept that promise. If I feel like I am losing it, I give myself time-out, I go to my room, shut the door, and read a home magazine for a few minutes until I can deal with it like an adult!
A few months after that event with Landon, I was at the kids school teaching scripture. We were talking about how important it is to be nice to people even if they are mean to us. I asked the children if they had any questions, or comments. Landon raised his hand and said "Yeah like the time you slapped me across the face and I still loved you!" All the kids sat there with their mouths open, I went red then said "yep like that time, see even grown ups make mistakes sometimes."
When you stuff up, change your tactics, learn from mistakes, don't dwell on them, that's one of the most amazing things about kids, they love you unconditionally!
