richwithkidz: Saying "I love you"

I have been reflecting alot on my childhood lately. I come from a family of 6 kids, I am the eldest. I love all of my brothers and sisters very much. Growing up we all got along really well, in fact at night we would yell out to each other before we went to sleep I love you Ben, I love you Josh, I love you Rin, I love you Keshy.... Caleb my little brother was only 5months old when I got married so he never got his name called out!! (But every now and then I make sure I tell him.) This nightly ritual was perhaps done in a bit of a jovial way, but we all knew that we actually meant it, we really did love each other, and we could say it, which I think is pretty rare! This stemmed from when we were really little, when we fought with each other if mum and dad ever heard us they would make us hug each other and say sorry and then tell the person we were fighting with that we loved them! As we got older and the teenage fights got more serious we still had the same consequences, to say sorry, hug and say I love you. We hated this, in fact I can even remember having quiet fights so we wouldn't be discovered by mum and dad and could then avoid having to hug and say I love you! Looking back now I see the wisdom in their parenting, without realising mum and dad were teaching us that no matter what we hated each other for during our fights, at the end of the day deep down we really loved each other! I would like to think that is still the same today.

Sienna my 4year old is very concerned with being loved and needs to be regularly reassured of this, she often comes to me and says "Landon doesn't love me", or "Oliver loves you more than me mum" Or when I get cranky she says "But do you still love me?" "Of course I still love you" I say, "I always love you, even when I am cranky, or happy, or sad, always" We say it all the time in our family it is something I feel is really important to say it and to show it. I want my kids to be each others best friends, to never be jealous of one another, and to be loyal to each other and know they have each others backs. That is one of the biggest benefits of being in a large family, is that you always have a best friend at home. The need to be loved and feel loved is such a constant and volatile thing! It seems that no matter how much we feel loved one day we need those feelings to be reinforced again the next day, especially when we are young.

Unconditional love is the most important thing I think a parent can give a child, or family members can give to each other, to feel loved no matter what, to know that is never withdrawn can help a child or an adult to feel secure and to belong and to feel of worth as a human being. My best friend has "unconditional love" tattooed on her arm, so she can be reminded of the need to give it and to feel it every day! I am not saying this is what we all need to do, but I think if we have it constantly on our minds we will be better parents and better family members.

I absolutely know that my mum and dad love me unconditionally. They are terrific parents and I know they did and continue to do the best job they can. I also know my husband loves me unconditionally, his love is a constant in my life, and without it I would feel very lost. I hope my kids know that my love for them is unconditional, of course I have hopes and dreams for them, but no matter what roads they take I will never stop wanting them around, I will never stop giving them hugs and telling them I love them!!